Well Being & Mental Health

What we need to understand about rejection

Rejection, It is not about you.

None of it.

It is just someone else finding their own path of joy which may not include you.

They are leaving you free to find your own path of joy.

This is our one job in life – to find our path of joy.

We can not begrudge someone for seeking out their path just because it does not include you.

Expecting people to stick around out of a miss-placed loyalty is not what you want.

You want people with you because they WANT to be there and allow those who don’t to leave freely.

I feel rejection feeds our own self hatred which is where the heat and pain comes from.

Because we do not love ourselves then someone leaving us reminds us of how unlovable we are.

We do not need others to love us for us to feel loved.

However we are not focused on that person and they are not focused on us. Both are looking inward and has nothing to do with the other person.

While it still hurts I find this way of looking at it makes it easier to move on past rejection. Just because you have met someone and allowed them into your life it does not mean they should stay there if it is not working for both parties. That would be no good for anyone.

I think the balance I need to find is allowing people into my life so I am not carrying on the pattern of self sufficiency and lack of trust as this can lead to disconnectedness and therefor depression but also allowing people to flow out as quickly as they came without a feeling of loss, self hatred or sadness. To wish them love as they try out a new path which could be the perfect one for them.

We all meet people in one moment and they can leave just as quickly. I feel I try and hold on to people and end up feeling like a martyr as I put their needs above my own in order to keep them on my path and yet all this is doing is taking us both off our paths to joy.

If we learn to stand true to what is best for US then people will flow in and out of our lives with love without any feelings of rejection.

I think this is going to take some time to master but wanted to share my conclusions into delving into rejection this week.

With love as always
Victoria xx