Being brave is scary. Of course it is. It means stepping into some form of unknown and trusting that something will work even though you have no idea if it will or not.
I have noticed, as I too face a brave decision, that when I first had this brave idea (which I can not share yet but will do soon) I felt total elation and a tingle with the anticipation that I may actually take this step and dream about all the amazing things which could happen as a consequence. I allowed myself to get lost in the “what-ifs” and “wouldn’t it be amazing if” thoughts. I have spent hours googling and researching and PM’ing my family with links for them to look at.
And then after a few days the reality sinks in as the mind wanders to the darker side of fear and our brain sets about trying to convince us that we are not good enough, or it would never work or.. or… or…no one else I know is doing it so it must be crazy… WHAT IF THIS DECISION IS WRONG AND I FAIL???
This form of self protection is inbuilt and even the most successful people in the world and the bravest explorers will all have these same thoughts as us but the difference is that they do it anyway. Are you really going to allow your dreams to fade as you worry about getting it wrong? You have more chance of success as you do failing as you are in control and you get to put the work in until it starts to work…
Let me share a Jim Carrey Quote as he puts it perfectly:
“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
The truth is that we always work it out when we are brave and it is the actions we fail to take which we will regret and rarely the actions we take towards our dreams.
I then got to thinking about having children and surly this is the bravest thing we will ever do. It is the biggest sacrifice, the biggest commitment and the biggest financial outlay of anyone’s life and yet we have often decided very early on that we want children, we see so many people having babies that we don’t even question THAT brave decision. When lots and lots of people do something there is a safety in numbers as it just seems to be ‘normal’ so our brain does not flick to the dark side so much. It feels at ease as other’s are doing it too. We seem to trust the fact that total strangers know more than us and if they are OK then we will be to.
The thing is that not everyone runs their own business and so when you are thinking of breaking out of the ‘norm’ (which seems to be trapping ourselves in a prison sentence of hard graft and sacrificing joy between the hours of 9-5) we freeze and allow our negative Nelly mind to take over and talk us out of it.
Safety seems to come from the comfort of knowing that you are doing what everyone else is doing.. but what if they are all wrong? Would you jump if everyone around you decided to jump or would you engage your brave muscle and see if you could see another option. There is always another option and in films it is always the hero which went against the crowd and found a different way.
Anyway I wanted to say that I know EXACTLY what it is like to face a brave decision. I felt it when I quit my 9-5 16 years ago and I am feeling it now as I plan the next phase of the adventure.
With love as always you brave lady!