Well Being & Mental Health

Addicted to the struggle?

Does it have to be a struggle?

I really love writing blogs to the point that because I love it so much it REALLY does not feel like work.

Because it does not feel like work I then feel guilty that I am writing to you as I *should* be working. Which means I write less even though writing more would lead me to where I REALLY want to be.

Yet what I understand from the laws of the universe is that it does not have to be hard. Life does not have to be a struggle… Why do I feel that I am not achieving if I am not struggling.  Where has this need for struggle come from and why do I feel so scared when I leave struggle at the door and lose myself in calm and in flow.

I have felt in total flow the past two weeks in business (which I needed after 2 weeks of hell dealing with an unfortunate business woman) but have felt totally guilty about it. Like I am not pulling my weight and any minute it will all come falling down around my ears because I am not working “hard”

But what I have been pondering lately (and what I chat to my therapists about sometimes..) is this question (I am getting deep.. ready?)

“If you lived your entire life on a beach in total bliss without a care in the world and had everything you needed – would this be a waste of a life?”

Now on the outside I KNOW this isn’t a waste of a life. That surly this is what we are all chasing… to retire and sit around doing nothing BUT… why do we feel we have to try and kill ourselves working ‘hard’ first in order to achieve this?

I remember back to being in an office environment and people used to brag at how ‘hard’ they worked and one man was sharing how he took work on holiday with him as he was so ‘busy’

I mean WHAT?!?!

Why…. why are we conditioned to think this is a must. I believe if we work smart for a few hours we could get our entire days work done in 3 hours and have the rest for play but in a world where you are payed by the hour and not results then we find we have to fill our day out to the max and that smart working rarely pays off. In fact if you are in an office and work ‘smart’ then you probably end up with a heavier work load than your less smart colleagues as you shouldn’t be sat there doing nothing.

What society has lead us to believe is that we have to be “on” and “working” at all times to be useful. That if we sat in the office staring into space then we are lazy… even if we had produced more amazing work than anyone around us.

So we feel guilty creating space in our lives for thinking and chilling as we *should* be working.

Madness really?!

I think this is where it comes from… I see everyone around me working hard and so I keep busying myself so I feel useful and that I am working hard too. But you see I believe my business will flourish the less hard I work… I have this deep sense that this is what I am meant to be doing… finding flow and ease and making peace with letting go of the struggle.

When I am not struggling at something I feel lost and like I am floating so I think I then over-complicate everything in my business (far more than it needs be) so I can struggle some more and FEEL like I am working.

What if I could write from the heart to you as I shrug off the struggle, sell beautiful things which inspire people to chase their dream and create opportunities and resources to help people escape their own version of busy… What if this became my life? Feels too indulgent but why?!

Hmmmmmmmm I think I need to meditate on where this need for struggle came from… how this need for struggle came into my life and where I formed the belief that you are only worthy if you are struggling and anything else is a waste of your time.

Thanks for listening! I would love to hear from you if you can relate as I really want to connect with more people as crazy as me 🙂

Hugs xx