Well Being & Mental Health

Is it selfish to put myself first?

Hey lovely. Hope you are well and I hope you shouted “NO” to the title of this blog post.

It is not selfish to put yourself first…. in fact I think it is selfish not to.

If you don’t start to put your needs ahead once in a while then you will start to break.




By silently breaking yourself little bit by little bit, often resulting in very monumental breakdowns, you are depriving your family and friends the chance to care for someone they love.

I have heard close friends refer to the act as selfish such as “I know it is selfish but I am going to give myself some more time in the week…” or “I know it is selfish but I am going away for the weekend as I really need a break… isn’t it selfish to expect my husband to do everything while I am away”

I feel the same way.

When you break you also put much more strain on those around you as they help piece back the parts which have become so fragmented. They feel massive guilt that they hadn’t realized you were suffering. Everyone is so busy that we really can not expect anyone other than us to notice how we are feeling and how low we are sinking. It is up to us to recognize our own needs and act on them.

If you notice you sinking then act quickly. Do something for you and don’t feel a teeny bit guilty about it. Give yourself what you need to heal. Start today. If you don’t put yourself first then no one will. Not because they don’t care but they are busy and wrapped up in their own crazy head. Don’t put the expectation on them to step in and help without you asking… that is selfish.. to put that responsibility onto someone else.

I mean it. You aren’t doing it for you. This is not selfish. You are doing it for everyone you care about. Those that love you will want YOU here and will want to do what they can to bring you back.

So book something today. Perhaps a spa trip, a night away to get 12 hours sleep, a day off work without having to ‘adult’

Go and create more space for you…. you need it.

Big love
Victoria x